Monday, June 20, 2005

Scotland's Secret Army


As my good friend and dramaturge, BR Wombat knows only too well, the humble Midge can destroy the best laid plans of mice and men, not to mention an open air production of anything Shakespearian.
Now, my concern today is the The G8 Summit, and the 10,000 police officers who will, according to the Sunday Herald, have a mere 450 tubes of insect repellant between the lot of them. Even if the cream is only for the 3,000 officers deployed in and around Gleneagles 450 tubes are not going to stretch very far and if these creams have to be shared between the officers there's going to be a cross infection issue.
I mean imagine sharing a tube of insect repellant with some young policeman who's still got acne.
Apparrently, along with gallons of bottled water and 350 bottles of suncream the insect repellant is seen as part of a morale boosting gesture.
I wouldn't like to tell you what my Frank would say if I tried to boost his morale with some bottled water and tube of insect repellant.
If it had anything to do with me I'd send round a memo recommending the use of Avon Skin So Soft because it's THE most effective anti midge lotion and I'd spend the budget on beer to boost morale

13 comments:

Broonie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

They'll maybe be all right - the midges are very local, there's nothing for them at Gleneagles.

Apparently having acne protects you from heart attacks (see yesterday's Sunday Times again) so perhaps sharing the cream would be a good thing.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps it isn't the vitamin c range from the avon clubby which repairs the ravages of vices but a subliminal message sent through the directions for application on the back of the tube. This is turn makes you feel better either that or the micro-dermabration kit is doing its job.

Anonymous said...

Ah so that's what she's using. I can't see that it's doing her much good. Trust you to give the game away Carlie.

Anonymous said...

Carlie is a pseaudo for felicia. Who works for avon cosmetics but aswell as being a door to soor saleswoman is also a huge share holder in avon holdings. Have you tried there new wet to try nail polish. It really is the tops!

Anonymous said...

What with my hands! They're already purple enough thank you very much. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to them.

Anonymous said...

Hey Broonie,
If you think you got problems with insects you should see what we got to put up with here in the Caribbean. Great big black things with wings.
However, the're not so bad as Bill Nighy doing impersonations of Keith Richards. Hey, you know he gave up smoking and drinking, yea well get this, he still signs on down the Camden Job centre when he's not actually working. He says it keeps him grounded.
Don't forget to keep me a jar of your strawberry and Tia Maria.
Rock on!

Anonymous said...

He can't be out of work that much. He's never off the radio.
I didn't know he was going to be in the pirates sequel who's he playing?

Anonymous said...

Hey Kitty

Davey Jones I think. It's a bit of a tough gig this time round but like they say you can never step into the same river twice.
How are the plans going for that piece of wasteland next to your shop.
I heard it was gona be on TV.

Anonymous said...

Enough said about this subject already. Sodjers smear themselves with mud and shite to blend in. I doubt if any of you boys have ever been in the Kosbies.

Anonymous said...

Garlic whether in tablet form or paste or pure garlic.

Anonymous said...

Have u got that date with Johny yet Leslie

Broonie said...

Was in Neverland this very night because I do believe in fairies.